| on gossip girls (and guys) |
[Jan. 12th, 2008|09:58 pm] |
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29
When I decided to write about the issue of gossip, one of the first steps I took was to search the New Testament for a verse of relevance. The New Testament has always been a source of instruction, easy to understand, direct and straightforward. And so it is with the above verse.
Was watching Gossip Girl (episode 13) yesterday, and the mysterious Gossip Girl poses a question, "What's the difference between gossip and scandal? Anyone can commit a minor indiscretion and generate a day's worth of buzz, but in order for gossip to birth a true scandal, it requires the right person to be in the wrong place."
Like in most things, the word 'gossip' should never be associated with the word 'truth'. 'Truth' leaves no room for false, incorrect, incomplete information. 'Gossip', on the other hand, could be either true or false. And when false information is passed around, more and more people believe it, resulting in a created fact which is so far from the truth.
Yet, gossip is what makes life colourful. To be able to keep up with new stories about people, puts you in a high and mighty position. To know things that others have not known, to be the first to acquire information, to be able to say to others, "You mean you don't know?" or "You mean you haven't heard?" or worst still, after passing on a story heard from elsewhere, "I thought you knew!"
A buzz. Which is supposedly all gossip creates. Yet to the party directly involved, it generates more than a buzz, and lasts for more than a day. It creates a feeling of betrayal, a feeling of confusion, a feeling of hurt. Isn't it so much better to be able to spread something that is true, instead of settling for what's false? Or rather, what is not known to be true or false?
When James writes in his book, chapter 3, he talks about Taming the Tongue. It's too long to type out the passage, but the gist is that the tongue is an organ although small, the effects of not controlling it can be ghastly. He relates it to how 'A great forest is set on fire by a small spark'. James recognises that it is no easy feat to control what is seen to be an untamable organ.
But we cannot simply accept that and use that as an excuse to continue to curse and backstab. Whenever we speak, we are to speak of things that build others up, and it's not just that, but to build others up according to their needs. What this means, is that we need to know the needs of the other person first. And what better way to know a person's needs than to ask him? If the words that we say do not bring benefit to anyone, wouldn't it be better to keep quiet, and speak only to edify others?
So then, (my opinion),
1. Don't be the one to start a rumour.
2. Should you hear a rumour that you don't know the accuracy of, don't be the one to spread it.
3. Be the one to clarify it. And when you find it to be untrue,
4. Be the one to correct it.
There's a difference between training to do something and trying to do something. Training leaves no space for failures, because each step is to be completed before moving on. To train to do something, is to work towards a goal, in which we would eventually reach and achieve. To try and do something, automatically creates two possible scenarios: to succeed, and to fail. When we try, there's a possibility that we fail to achieve it.
Therefore, it is not our goal to try and prevent ourselves from unwholesome talk, but rather, it is our aim to train our tongues to speak of words that will bring peace, joy and love to others. |
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